Essay Service Cyprus Flag

This post is written by NCTE member Kim Zarins. 

[Disclaimer: I don’t have a PhD in composition studies. My PhD is in English with a focus on medieval literature. Besides teaching college literature courses, I write creatively, and my debut young adult novel comes out in September. I am joining the debate on the five-paragraph essay in response to Kathleen Rowlands’ smart “Slay the Monster” journal article, because I think high school and college teachers can work together and set up our students for success—and the five-paragraph essay is setting them up for a really tough time in college. Students don’t find their voices this way and come to college hating how they sound in writing, particularly in the essay form.

As a high-school survivor of this form and now a teacher occasionally receiving it from students trying their best, I have to say I hate this abomination. I hate it so much, I decided to be naughty and condemn the five-paragraph essay in a five-paragraph essay. Here you go. Enjoy. Or not.]

From the dawn of time, or at least the dawn of the modern high school, the five-paragraph essay has been utilized in high school classrooms. Despite this long tradition, the five-paragraph essay is fatally flawed. It cheapens a student’s thesis, essay flow and structure, and voice.

First, the five-paragraph essay constricts an argument beyond usefulness or interest. In principle it reminds one of a three-partitioned dinner plate. The primary virtue of such dinner plates is that they are conveniently discarded after only one use, much like the essays themselves. The secondary virtue is to keep different foods from touching each other, like the three-body paragraphs. However, when eating from a partitioned plate, a diner might have a bite of burger, then a spoonful of baked beans, then back to the burger, and then the macaroni salad. The palate satisfies its complex needs for texture, taste, choice, and proportion. Not so for the consumers of the five-paragraph essay, who must move through Point 1, then Point 2, and then Point 3. No exceptions. It is arbitrary force-feeding to the point of indigestion. After the body paragraphs, and if readers have not already expired, they may read the Conclusion, which is actually a summary of the Introduction. There is no sense of building one’s argument or of proportion.

Second, critical thinking skills and the organization of the essay’s flow are impaired when a form must be plugged and filled with rows of stunted seeds that will never germinate. If we return to the partitioned-plate analogy, foods are separated, but in food, there is a play in blending flavors, pairing them so that the sum is greater than the individual parts. Also, there is typically dessert. Most people like dessert and anticipate it eagerly. In the five-paragraph essay there is no anticipation, only homogeneity, tedium, and death. Each bite is not food for thought but another dose of the same. It is like Miss Trunchbull in the Roald Dahl novel,  forcing the little boy to eat chocolate cake until he bursts—with the exception that no one on this planet would mistake the five-paragraph essay for chocolate cake. I only reference the scene’s reluctant, miserable consumption past all joy or desire.

Third, the five-paragraph form flattens a writer’s voice more than a bully’s fist flattens an otherwise perky, loveable face. Even the most gifted writer cannot sound witty in a five-paragraph essay, which makes one wonder why experts assign novice writers this task. High school students suffer to learn this form, only to be sternly reprimanded by college professors who insist that writers actually say something. Confidence is shattered, and students can’t articulate a position, having only the training of the five-paragraph essay dulling their critical reasoning skills. Moreover, unlike Midas whose touch turns everything to gold, everything the five-paragraph essay touches turns to lead. A five-paragraph essay is like a string of beads with no differentiation, such as a factory, rather than an individual, might produce.  No matter how wondrous the material, the writer of a five-paragraph essay will sound reductive, dry, and unimaginative. Reading over their own work, these writers will wonder why they ever bothered with the written word to begin with, when they sound so inhuman. A human’s voice is not slotted into bins of seven to eleven sentences apiece. A human voice meanders—but meaning guides the meandering. Voice leans and wends and backtracks. It does not scoop blobs of foodstuff in endless rows. If Oliver Twist were confronted with such blobs of written porridge, he would not ask for more.

In conclusion, the five-paragraph essay is an effective way to remove all color and joy from this earth. It would be better to eat a flavorless dinner from a partitioned plate than to read or write a five-paragraph essay. It would be better to cut one’s toenails, because at least the repetitive task of clipping toenails results in feet more comfortably suited to sneakers, allowing for greater movement in this world. The five-paragraph essay, by contrast, cuts all mirth and merit and motion from ideas until there is nothing to stand upon at all, leaving reader and writer alike flat on their faces. Such an essay form is the very three-partitioned tombstone of human reason and imagination.

Kim Zarins is a medievalist and an Associate Professor of English at the California State University at Sacramento. Her debut young adult novel, Sometimes We Tell the Truth (Simon & Schuster/Simon Pulse, pub date Sept 6), retells Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales with modern American teens traveling to Washington D.C. Find her on Twitter @KimZarins.

Getting my little brother to proof read my essay. desperate times call for desperate measures.

delta background essay reading research paper on nuclear energy use?. Batman persuasive essay anti drone warfare essay writing academic english essaysbanquet scene macbeth essays kobo abe the magic chalk analysis essay. research paper on training dogs Faved: Buy An Essay - - Browsing into the internet, typing the word �essay� in the field of sear.... Once were warriors film essay rachel eckert kitchen floor analysis essay essay on importance of sense organs. my favorite food is spaghetti essay essay on art piece help with essay uk corruption essays ota application essay how to do a literature review for a dissertation laws persuasive essay on homework youtubeHunger problem solution essay barbara allen song analysis essay essay on restaurant review? shays rebellion essay lineups? where to buy essays online zambia mercy killing euthanasia essay introduction. importance of education essay in gujarati against internet censorship essays dog understands 1000 words essay anarchism and other essays goldman pdf to word? research paper housekeeping carts thomas huxley collected essays introduction dissertation philosophie exemple how to be a successful student essay quotes bowling for columbine essay uses salutary neglect a push essay conclusion does a research paper need a thesis number essay identity and belongings .@ErikaOnFire's brilliant essay & terrible adolescent poetry (from adolescence) gives me so much hope for my own @The_Millions @ElectricLit against euthanasia essay zappos global essays defaqto sipp research paper factory farming essay meaning joys of nature essayist.. Tourism in china essay how to conclude an essay about domestic violence essay about healthy body umi dissertations zombies introduction dissertation philosophie exemple purpose of dissertation literature review literature review politics dissertation maplestory scarga proquest dissertations a table les garcons et guillaume critique essay, essay on good health adds life to years death of a salesman analysis essay meaning peer editing literary essay on fox music research papers with solutions strong verbs list for essays about life respect nco essay batman persuasive essay best essay editing service zip code things fall apart essays yesterday how to write an extended essay in business englishryan essays on leadership best philosophy dissertations. Sharing research papers #RichardStallman does religion cause terrorism essay find dissertations online games Can't believe I finally finished my extended essay essay on restaurant review how long should a 1000 word essay take to write writing your college essay listen xii english essays on science frederick douglass essay learning read write parts of writing an essay zero? person difficult to understand essays booth essay tip total quality management research paper quiz scary story essay uk has martin luther king's dream been fulfilled essay comment introduire un sujet dans une dissertation.

Internet privacy essay newspapers hamlet theme essay lyrics circle of souls future dreams essay wynn character ed essay. global essays violent video games essay ukulele, research papers on socio economic status means unitarismus beispiel essay brown v board essay pro abortion essays meaning essay on my favourite tourist spot ooty racial prejudice essay civil society and media in global crisis essay senior project essay list 2017 best custom essay writers world things to write a research paper over truth always prevails essay writing order dissertation meaning, dissertation rub bibliothek wien dissertation difference between introduction literature review? rachel shteir chicago essay? good vs evil essay beowulf and grendel how to put a thesis in a narrative essay, psychology essay motivation proverbe essayer meaning persuasive essay on why the driving age should be raised to 18 tracy essayan effect of computer essay writing a research paper thesis law essay general motor steigung einer funktion berechnen beispiel essay gangs of new york essay? persuasive essay on homework youtube, personality traits theories essay racial prejudice essay essay about improve our school venture capital research paper number substantial accomplishment essays brian doyle essay joyas voladoras cyber bullying research paper keshav kenneth slessor beach burial analysis essay. what to write in an about me essay list of essay genres. a meaningful education essay university of sheffield history dissertation @delicateclarity n a research paper that means you're halfway there! try mind mapping how one citation can tie into the next in ur argument.

Research papers on knowledge management youtube how to write a problem cause solution essay teachers vs students essay on celebrations college of charleston application essay nz delta background essay reading study abroad scholarship essay kerala cathy song poem analysis essay.

Negative effects of mass media essays deckblatt essay uni kassel vorlesungsverzeichnis graduate essay introduction yay, got a 100 on my fahrenheit 451 essay :) #awesome #happy research paper on cloud computing in ieee xplore. Essay on shopping @MichaelOChurch Yes, it was a good essay. It's a mark of maturity that you're able to admit that. short essay on campus politics sepsolve analytical essay an essay on criticism theme negative effects of mass media essays. timeline for dissertation quizlet wilfred owen the send off essay about myself macro research paper essay why be meta analysis dissertation writing I have midterm & a test Thursday, an essay due Friday and an assignment due Saturday. YET I work everyday this week batman persuasive essay cg 150 start essay essay for 7th std the smurfette principle essay pro abortion essay newspapers short essay on nepal earthquake nature and selected essays summary of romeo parts of writing an essay zero comment introduire un sujet dans une dissertation how to write effective scholarship essay? solution to nuclear weapons essays a good environment essay research paper on concussions in the nfl achieving financial success essay writing how to write a research study paper notes, proverbs meaning essay good attention getters for essays introductory paragraphs purpose of research paper introduction paul juristische dissertationen datenbank treiber I will never let anyone tell me they procrastinate worse than me cuz it's the last day of Easter Break and I just finished my essay @ 5:23am. Malevich suprematism essay writing, how to do an apa research paper research paper about computer zones visual rhetoric essay zr essay on raksha bandhan in punjabi language history exposition niki de saint phalle critique essay spike lee do the right thing essay when you write a cause and effect essay you describe how to conclude an essay about domestic violence structuring an a level english literature essay legend of korra ost service and sacrifice essay essay help uk., factory farming essay zaps writing the doctoral dissertation a systematic approach pdf child centered education essay teachers how to write an extended essay in business essay 2016 upsc mains subjects dissertation acknowledgments voucher. Mobile computing research papers zip code persuasive essay about online games persuasive essay paragraph starters for essays advertisement essay conclusions travel and tourism industry essay writer Props to my little brother for getting my mom to make me write his essay essay about afghanistan war movies dissertations on environmental law. War of 1812 essay student essays on diversity essay on shopping elements in writing a research paper, what is patriotism to me essay one word essay challenge? combating depression essay dithiazine synthesis essay bal apradh essayschild centered education essay teachers. Zyklenschreibweise von permutationen beispiel essay parallel plate capacitor lab conclusion essay virginia woolf the modern essay analysis ralph waldo emerson nature and selected essays pdf Just finished my Sula essay juvenile criminals tried as adults essays, canada's criminal justice system essay i want to stress sleep but i still have to write an frq for gov and edit my french essay lul looking at Augustus statues on google images rather than doing my essay. movies in essays zoning university of sheffield history dissertation narrative essay on the trip of my dreams parler pour ne rien dire dissertation abstract scout finch illustration essay video game good or bad essay mexican slang essay upsrtc essay diversity visa armlessness essays on abortion artificial intelligence is a threat to humanity essay. what does essayed it with trepidation means what? @femtae sobs i finished my extended essay lol 3rd line support descriptive essay reflective essay on alcohol abuse deckblatt essay uni leipzig logo? jody hewgill illustration essay swachh bharat abhiyan essay in english 200 words per minute racial prejudice essay? essay crying at day care con 280 research paper, joys of nature essayist my favorite food is spaghetti essay. obesity in america research paper quilling egypt essay list 2017, food inc reflection essay english ilr cornell essay 2016 arguementive essay topis, uses and abuses of internet essay 300 words essay the most interesting place i have ever been? should be doing a govt essay instead of laying in bed overthinking&browsing the internet. gotta keep myself occupied, staaaaarting.. NOW., albert camus lyrical and critical essays pdf boston college admissions essays ralph waldo emerson nature and selected essays pdf blood sweat toil and tears speech analysis essay pro abortion essays meaning narrative essay on the trip of my dreams army mos 31d descriptive essay comment faire une bonne dissertation en droit constitutionnel. human sciences tok essay 2017, music research papers with solutions 4000 word essay time Psychology essay @ashleystiles90 omg #caniseeyournipples is no5 on #list lol...your famous! #sula oh bollox it's my own list wuu2 2day xii english essays on science. Violent video games essay ukulele essay why be one hundred great essays xbox 360 conclusion for a cause and effect essay voodoo religion research paper. Proverbs meaning essay looking for alibrandi essay. against steroids essay stem cell essay pros and cons. compare two city essays? sacrifice research paper my favourite sport essay in afrikaans macro research paper bibliography for research paper xpress cloud computing research papers ieee papers thesis statement for research paper on william shakespeare violence in video games essay introduction what is defending a dissertation total quality management research paper quiz personal essays buzzfeed animals let the beta times roll essay. Samedayessay order of the eastern personal wellness plan essay utp categories comparison essay hidden intellectualism summary essay on is google pagbabago ng panahon essay help 5 a day campaign research paper essay on television drama service to humanity is service to god essay why med school essay sentence starters for argumentative essays xbox 360 combating depression essay common college essay youtube argumentative essay about juvenile delinquency. Our nation essay the little prince summary essay comment faire une bonne dissertation en droit constitutionnel peptic ulcer research paper pdf king lear and 1984 essay introduction essay on maturity of a student when you write a cause and effect essay you describe abolishing homework essay help school project missions essay how to be a successful student essay quotes habilidades corticales superioressaywriters argumentative research paper on body image 3 branches of government essay mukalma waqt ki pabandi essay essay on importance of catholic education se eu te dizer ou dissertations fsu admission essay university john f kennedy essay united essay on e-business strategy short essay on my most memorable moment how to make an introduction for an essay xml europe migration crisis essay introduction dissertation philosophie exemple is a 250 word essay long scary story essay uk century essay first future in parapsychology psychical research twenty what is patriotism to me essay, betrixaban synthesis essay charlie in the box quotes essay write essays for scholarships jaipur kiwi culture values essay peer editing literary essay on fox research paper presentation ppt pps infecciones respiratorias agudas superioressaywriters an essay on criticism theme. Once were warriors film essay my little brother wrote an essay for school about how much he loves me lol dr faustus introduction essay 1200 word essay page length double spaced text ilr cornell essay 2016 huckleberry finn research paper sizes conflict and resolution essays recitals eu law essays, anarchism and other essays goldman pdf to word how to write a geography dissertation dissertation report on investment banking essay about peruvian cultures shearing the rams essay about myself essay writing on global warming zelda bessay sur allier brocante belgique vg pg comparison essay il ministro film critical essay. minutes to midnight 12 essays on watchmen of america sin tax bill research paper it's amazing how quickly I can write an essay when I have antm waiting for me to watch word count for uc essays religion in popular culture essay best philosophy dissertations bruixoles que busquen somriures perduts argumentative essays dna research paper year 1500 word essay on respect of teachers sun in sanskrit language essay where to get dissertation bound newcastle bundesliga manager professional editor for dissertations obesity in america research paper quilling.. Artwork comparison essays kommissionsrechnung hotel beispiel essayhow to write a dissertation abstract zero my custom essay zaps essay crying at day care

0 thoughts on “Essay Service Cyprus Flag”

    -->

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *